The Driver’s Seat

Our friends at Merriam-Webster define people pleaser as “a person who has an emotional need to please others often at the expense of his or her own needs or desires.” 

Can you relate?

People pleasing comes at the cost of pleasing yourself, which in turn is the most unauthentic way to live. This seems like such a caring and loving attribute until you end up feeling like you have been in the passenger seat most of your adult life. 

I want to offer you this idea that when you take care of yourself first everybody benefits. That means putting yourself in the driver's seat, looking at your own personal needs and addressing them first.

As  young moms in the 80’s we were fed the notion that good moms put everyone first and total self sacrifice was how you achieved that.  Aside from being tired and spent from doing all the mom things there was a nagging feeling of not doing it right or not doing enough.  This trying to please everyone looked like saying yes as often and as much as possible to everyone and everything except ourselves.

People pleasing leaves one feeling a lot of resentment, but the kicker is we do this to ourselves. We put this pressure on ourselves, we have decided what a good mom or wife or friend looks like at the expense of defining what a good ME looks like.

Ask yourself a few questions -

Am I saying yes when I feel like saying no because I don’t want to let someone down?

Am I taking care of my own physical, mental, and spiritual well being first?

Am I feeling resentment for doing something I said yes to?

Life is full of choices. I challenge you to choose yourself first and then watch how beautifully you show up for everyone else!!

If this resonates with you, let’s connect!