Why Worry Feels Like Love (And Why It’s Not Helping Your Family)
Do you ever feel like your worry is proof of how much you care?
As moms and grandmas, it can feel impossible not to worry. After all, doesn’t worrying show how much you love your family? If you’re not losing sleep over your adult kids’ financial struggles or replaying every “what if” about your grandkids’ futures, does that mean you’re not doing enough?
Let’s pause for a moment. What if I told you that worrying isn’t the badge of love you think it is? In fact, it might be doing more harm than good—not only for your family but for you, too.
Worry Feels Productive, But It’s Not
When you worry, it feels like you’re doing something. Your mind is racing through every possible outcome, hoping to prevent disaster. It feels active, like you’re solving a problem. But here’s the truth: worry is an emotional hamster wheel. Worry is an emotion that releases the stress hormone, cortisol, impairing cognitive function; kind of like trudging through mud, a thick, slow, and inefficient way to move.
Worry doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t help your adult child figure out how to manage their finances. It doesn’t make your grandchild’s school project a success. What it does is deplete your energy and often send a ripple of anxiety through your family.
For example, have you ever called your child to “check-in” because you were worried about them, only to have the conversation feel strained or defensive? That’s the unintended effect of worry—it can feel like pressure to the other person, even if your intentions are pure.
What Worry Is Really Saying
Here’s a loving reminder: Worry often comes from a place of fear, not love. When you worry, it’s a sign that you’re focusing on what could go wrong instead of trusting that things will work out.
This doesn’t mean you don’t care or that you should ignore real problems. It means that love and trust can guide your actions better than fear can.
Think about the last time you worried. Maybe you were lying awake, replaying conversations with your adult son about his job search. What did that worry actually accomplish? Did it give you clarity or just make you more anxious? Now imagine replacing that worry with trust—trust that he’s capable, resourceful, and supported. How might that shift your energy and your relationship?
Why Letting Go of Worry Is an Act of Love
Letting go of worry isn’t about giving up on your family or pretending everything is perfect. It’s about recognizing that your role isn’t to control their journey—it’s to be a calm, loving presence in their lives.
When you stop worrying, you create space for deeper connection. Your conversations feel lighter. Your energy becomes an anchor of peace instead of a wave of anxiety. And most importantly, you model trust and resilience for your family.
What to Do Instead of Worrying
If worry isn’t helpful, what can you do instead? Here are three simple shifts you can try:
Pause and Reflect: When you notice yourself worrying, ask, “Is this something I can control right now?” If the answer is no, acknowledge the worry by conversing with it as if you were supporting a friend, and let it go.
Focus on Gratitude: Redirect your thoughts to what’s going right. Instead of worrying about your grandchild’s grades, focus on their creativity or the effort they’re putting in.
Send Love Instead of Fear: Imagine wrapping your family in a bubble of love and support. Visualize them thriving and making empowered choices. This simple practice shifts your energy from fear to trust. As quantum physics has shown, we do not need to be physically present for loved ones to experience the energy we are sending them and that includes thought energy.
Letting Go With Love
I know letting go of worry isn’t easy. It’s deeply ingrained, especially for us women who’ve spent decades caring for others. But letting go doesn’t mean you stop loving—it means you’re loving in a way that empowers both you and your family.
Take a moment today to reflect: How has worry shown up in my relationships? What would it feel like to replace that worry with trust and love?
If you’re ready to break free from the cycle of worry and create more peace in your family, you’re not alone. You deserve that peace—and so does your family.
If this resonates with you, let’s connect!
Much love, Amy
